What marriage is supposed to be- learning from my mistakes August 2010

What Marriage is supposed to be:

1 Corinthians  7:1-9 10-16

Marriage is supposed to be a covenant between two individuals for a life time.  This is why when two people get married, they recite their vows and say until Death do us part.  See in today’s world marriage is more like dating;  it is not a true covenant where no one would dare to break it.   

Marriage is a holy ceremony between a man and a woman,  that is right it is only designed to be for a man and a woman, not a woman and a woman or a man and a man.

Marriage is supposed to be to bring forth children, not as a reaction to being with child.

In 1 Cor 7  The people of Corinth were asking Paul the apostle in their previous letters how they should be living their lives, how they should behave as believers new and mature.

This is the same attitude that we should have in this day and age, to be willing to ask those in a godly-leadership role, how we ought to live our lives.

Well we’ve all probably at least  heard of the Ten Commandments, but all the Ten Commandments talks about on this subject is to not commit adultery, well how do you know if you’re committing  something if you don’t understand the true meaning of it.

The heart behind this chapter is in response to chapter 6 where Paul urges the people of Corinth to flee sexual immorality.   

That is why v 1 in chapter 7 talks about it is good for a man to not touch a woman, nevertheless because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.

Our God is so smart in this:  He realizes how weak and broken and sinful we are.  He knows that we were designed to be attracted to the opposite sex, but He also understands that we cannot see such beauty and restrain ourselves forever, so He gave us marriage.

Now don’t think of marriage as an excuse because it is not.  The foundation of marriage is supposed to be love and trust, not lust and money or good looks.  

What marriage is supposed to look like:

V 3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.  V4  says The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

V 10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. V 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.  V 12 But to the rest I , not the Lord say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her.  V 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.  V14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.  V 15 But if the unbeliever departs let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases.  But God has called us to peace.  V 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband?  Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?  

In this is world, this is not how we are taught.  We are taught that hey if you don’t get along anymore or “love grows cold” just get a divorce.  

The only two circumstances where divorce would be permitted are where abuse is involved and also if an affair has occurred in the marriage.  

You might be asking yourselves why I would be telling you about this now because you are but only youth, but I tell you these things and will keep telling you these things on different occasions to prepare you and help raise you up to how God wants you to live and not how the world wants you to live.

Divorce is a terrible, terrible act.  

God created us to become one flesh, not to become one flesh and then be ripped apart 5, 10, 15, or even 20 years later.  

My parents were divorced when I was 8 years old and it rocked my world.   I always felt most of my childhood afterwards that it was my fault that they got divorced.   It was so bad in the beginning that I had to go to an outpatient therapy facility because my anger was so out of control.

Most of you maybe your parents are divorced or are thinking about divorce.  Maybe  you to feel like it is your fault, and I want to tell you right now, that it is not your fault.  The good news is though that even though you cannot change your past or decisions that other people made for you in life.  You can change your future for the better.

God works in mysterious ways, because of my parents getting divorced and my father not being there for me pretty much ever I learned what not to do when I grew up.  I learned that I shouldn’t yell at my wife or be so busy with work that I never spent time with my family.  

Through these painful experiences I came to know our loving savior Jesus Christ.

I came to know that He truly is the Father to the fatherless like His word talks about.

He gave me a desire to help others, to prevent divorce from happening and to also help rehabilitate those who are going through and have gone through it.

I just want to let you know that The Devil is a liar and the father of lies, and that your parents choices are not your fault.  There is nothing you could’ve done to save that marriage.  It wasn’t your grades or behavior or anything that you did or did not do that cause your parents to part.

Pray with me now.  Dear Jesus  please forgive me for my self-hatred that I have been harboring in my life.  I ask you to heal my broken heart and make me whole again.  This void of not having both parents in my life, I ask you to fill it with your Holy Spirit.  Jesus I thank you that you truly are the Father to the fatherless.  Help me to learn more about you and how to be like you every day.  Amen.