Element 12 - The Unshakable Formula
"Losing my daughters"
An event that comes to my mind as a traumatic experience/memory is losing my little girls.
The last visitation that I had with them was around March 17th, 2020. I had no idea it would be my last for several years. Apple deleted the texts from my ex-wife, but somewhere around March 27th, 2020, Rachel (my ex-wife) stated that she felt I was dangerous, needed to see a counselor, and used the Emergency Declaration around C*vid as a means to withhold the girls from coming to see me.
She offered for me to see them one time in the roughly five and a half months she kidnapped them from me. For Father's Day, she said I could meet them at a public park in 98* degree heat, and that we all had to wear a mask and practice social-distancing. I politely declined, stating that I didn't want them to suffer wearing breath-hindering masks for the sake of me.
In August of 2020, we had our day in Zoom Court, the Judge sided with her, granting her temporary relocation to the area of Chicago. She left for Chicago shortly after my birthday that year, and I had to "celebrate" Norah's 12th birthday with her via Facetime from 1,000 miles away.
I continued to fight in the courts, representing myself, but the Judge never acknowledged any of my own citations against my ex-wife and her boyfriend Luke for "Parental Alienation," of which I had strong evidence of taking place. The last time I ever spoke to my daughters Norah and Adeline was on January 2nd, 2021 in our Kids' Messenger group chat.
After that date, they stopped speaking, stopped responding, and in then in April someone went into that same group chat and removed them from it. I had someone give me some money to hire a lawyer to fight my case, but unfortunately, his firm did a Free Consultation for my ex-wife prior to her hiring the firm she chose to represent her.
Around May 20th, 2021, I lost my lawyer to a conflict of interest, lost my case, lost visitation rights, and lost my career as a Mortgage Loan Officer all in the same day. This series of events sent me deeper and further into The Tunnel, and it took me years to start my journey back out.
Assessment Pre-question:
On a scale of 1-10 how much did this experience affect me?
I would say it affected me like a death, but worse because there was no closure.
I would say easily an 8-9 on the scale.
1. What does it mean? (Empowering meanings)
- It means that I am worthy of My King.
Matthew 10:37 "He who loves his father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves his son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.
- It means that I was faithful to the call that He placed upon my life, even if it cost me everything in the process.
- It means that I am "blessed."
Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Matthew 5:10-12 Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs in the kingdom of Heaven.
v.11-12 Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in Heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
- It means that I was a threat to and target of the Enemy.
I was doing what I felt that God had told me to do: Sounding the Alarm upon the lies of C*vid.
- It means that I refused to bow down to the agenda, even if it cost me dearly.
Daniel 3:15-18
When many others were bowing down to the "agenda," I was like the three Hebrew men who refused to bow down and made it known that they refused to bow down.
"O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter."
"If that is the case, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and He will deliver us from your hand, O king."
"But if not, let it be known to you, O king, that we do not serve your gods, nor will we worship the gold image which you have set up."
- It means that there is Another in the Fire
Daniel 3:24
Then King Nebuchadnezzar was astonished; and he arose in haste and spoke, saying to his counselors, "Did we not cast three men bound into the midst of the fire?" They answered and said to the king, "True O king."
"Look!" he answered, "I see four men loose, walking in the midst of the fire; and they are not hurt, and the form of the fourth is like the Son of God."
- It means that what the enemy meant for evil, God will turn it around for His good.
Genesis 50:20 "But as for you, you meant for evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive."
Romans 8:28 And we know that ALL things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
- It means that I was considered by the Lord
Job 1:6-12
v. 8 Then The Lord said to Satan, "Have you considered My servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who fears God and shuns evil?"
2. What can I learn?
I learned through this experience to operate in the correct spirit, because all of this was caused because I saw things taking place in the world, which I had previously dreamed about, but I let the spirit of fear consume me.
I should've went to God with these thoughts and feelings, and asked Him what these things mean, and like the prophets of old asked Him for a time frame of when the rapid accelarations would take place.
Just like the world was operating in a spirit of fear, I was as well, just in a different way.
They were afraid of dying, so they wore, masks, practiced social-distancing, got tested, and took DNA-altering vaccines.
I flipped out, started warning everyone of impending doom, but had no idea as to how slow things would progress and judgment in the United States would take place.
I learned through this whole this experience, that how we ask the question, "God, WHY is this happening to me?!" is what is important.
Am I in a whining, complaining tone?
or
Am I in a curious, inquisitive tone, genuinely wondering what was the purpose of all this happening to me? What are You trying to teach and show me in and through all of this?
I learned that I am stronger than I thought I was, not in my own strength or will power, but in His.
3. How can I Integrate?
- I can integrate this by HOPing with myself, my ex-wife Rachel, and my daughters.
- I can thank God in advance for the restoration, and reconcilation of the relationships with my girls.
- I can stand on His promises that those things done in the darkness will come into the light and be exposed for what they are. (Luke 8:17)
4. Who can I share this with?
I've shared some of these things already through past live-streams on Facebook, and my Youtube Channels, which have been deleted.
I've also shared this story in person, but now I can share it in a different light.
Lastly, I'm sharing this story with everyone who decides to read this blog.
Without a TEST, there can be no testimony.
Hebrews 12:25-29
See that you do not refuse Him who speaks. For if they did not escape who refused Him who spoke on earth, much more shall we not escape if we turn away from Him who speaks from heaven.
whose voice then shook the earth; but now He has promised, saying, "Yet once more I shake not only the earth, but also heaven."
Now this, "Yet once more," indicates the removal of those things that are being shaken, as of things that are made, that the things which cannot be shaken may remain.
Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us have grace, by which we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear.
For our God is a consuming fire.
